Why I'm Scared of Marijuana

Yes, it's a serious fear. This is my story.

I can't be the only one with a similar experience. 


Backstory

I used to smoke marijuana every day. I was 17 at the time and all I could get a hold of was Reggie. I would go to my friend's houses and smoke. I never got high from it but I claimed to be a stoner. The first time I got high I was with my best friend. She didn't tell me that I was smoking synthetic marijuana. I started feeling really bad and all I remember was waking up on the floor with everyone around me and throw up next to me, they told me I had a seizure. After that, I didn't smoke for a year. They didn't tell me until five months later that it was synthetic because they were scared I would press charges.

My Gateway Drug

Now, before you hate me for saying it, weed was a gateway drug for me for a while. After I started smoking again, my friend and I realized it didn't really do anything. Her brother was a dealer so we took some of his cocaine. It was only supposed to be a one time thing that very quickly escalated to every day. After six months, I had went from a size 18 to a size 8. I realized I looked like some crackhead all the time. I didn't care about how I looked, I didn't eat, all I did was smoke cigarettes and snort coke. So, I decided to stop. For a solid week I was going through withdrawals in school. I was irritated and in so much pain I thought about ending it all multiple times. After that I promised myself I would never touch another drug.

All's well in paradise.

Fast forward to another year. Now I'm 19 and I got with the love of my life. I wasn't doing any drugs and he wasn't either because of his job. After about five months of being together he got another job where he didn't get drug tested. I told him I would occasionally smoke with him. That very quickly turned into smoking every day. All was well, I was sticking to marijuana and not having any problems. It actually helped me a lot with my depression and anxiety. Then, we got a bong. I had never smoked out of a bong before, so I had no clue what to expect. I took a really big hit and ran to the restroom. My entire body went numb, I could barely keep my eyes open, and every time I moved I'd get sick. I ended up passing out and waking up in a cold sweat. It really scared me and I didn't smoke for a couple weeks.

I thought I was dying.

A few days before my 20th birthday my boyfriend and I went to a party. I took a few sips of a Four Loko (I don't drink so I was a little tipsy) then we went to his friends house so we could smoke. I took one hit (I haven't smoked at this point for about a week). I instantly knew I messed up. I ran outside and started throwing up. After about an hour I was throwing up every time I moved my eyes, I couldn't stand, my whole body was numb, and I couldn't keep my eyes open. I broke out in a cold sweat and just wanted to sleep. My wonderful boyfriend had to put me in the truck and carry me up our stairs. I was sick for the next few days.

Now, I'm sure I'm not the only one who's had a similar experience, that's why I'm writing this. You're not alone. I'm not saying I'll never smoke again but I'll definitely be more cautious. The reason I'm scared of marijuana is because I never want to feel that way ever again. I wouldn't want anyone to feel like that, not even my worst enemy. I've had a struggle with weed since I started smoking but in the long run it helps me a lot more than any medicine I've ever taken. I just need to learn to take it slow. Being a lightweight sucks.

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Why I'm Scared of Marijuana
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