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Weed Paraphernalia of the Past

Weed paraphernalia is a billion dollar business, but you don't have to spend a dime.

Long before PAX and Grenco Science, you had to depend on your wits to get high. There was a time when there was no bodega on the corner where a friendly immigrant sold you EZ Wider with a smile. In that era, there was no Amazon Prime to deliver the newest vape technology with free delivery. It was a time some refer to as the stone age of marijuana. It began at the turn of the 20th century. With the immense migration of multiple races, creeds, and religions into the massive urban centers of the great United States of America came a level of pot smoking ingenuity that would evolve into the multibillion dollar weed paraphernalia industry. As Apple began in a garage, many great weed ideas began in tenements in the south Bronx in the 1920s. People couldn't afford the ivory pipes the upper east side aristocrats used. While we are all thankful for America’s great consumerist ideology, there are times today when a stoner feels like he is stuck in the early 20th century, with nothing to turn to but his wits and creative juices infused with THC.

The Matchbook Roach-Clip

For those hit hard by the economy, making every bud count is important. It was an ingenious yet simple answer to a pervasive problem. After all, even back when marijuana was going for $10 an ounce, it was still too expensive to waste. So you simply rolled up a matchbook-cover, stuck the roach in one end, and stuck yourself on the other. As elegant a solution as it sounds, there are still many accidents, and safety should be an integral part of any matchbook roach clip. My friend Freddy Finkelstien, on the night we graduated high school, was so high the night he got the nick name Flaming Freddy. “Don't throw out that joint” he yelled at me, so I did what I always did, which was to chuck it at him and yell "Here you go, cheap ass." That night Freddy did not remember to pull the matches out of the matchbook before turning it into a roach clip. It was instantaneous. The Zippo flipped up, clicked, and his roach clip exploded into flames the the Fantastic Four's torch. So was born my friend Flaming Freddy.

What you need to make your own:

  • Matchbook
  • Joint    
This is pretty self explanatory. You take the cover of the matchbook, roll it up, and stick the roach in it! Easy-peasy. 



The Beer-Can Water Pipe

The redneck bong, often called the Billy Bong Thorton, is made it from a beer-can, two plastic straws, some tinfoil, and a few lumps of clay. Originally, beer-can-water pipes were conceived of with thick bamboo. Long before Budweiser, this concept actually originated in the Philippines. Additional offshoots were acrylic, chromium, and leather. Chewing gum made a good alternative for those who could not even afford a fist of clay. As far back as 2,000 years ago, Russian rulers used gold bongs to smoke cannabis. Anyone who has found themselves up late in their friend's dorm room, sitting on the floor, stoned out of their mind, looking underneath the bed at dirty clothing will also often find an empty beer can nearby. Unable to to conjure up the strength to pull the bong out of your friend's hands, you use a key to architect a beer can into a sookie smokehouse bong. It is the height of unsanitary stoner behavior, but so damn convenient.

What you need to make your own:

  • Beer Can 
  • Two Plastic Straws
  • Tinfoil
  • Clay

Use a key to puncture a hole in the top of the can adjacent to the tab. Fill the water up about a third of the way. Next, cut the straw in half. Place each half of the straw in each of the holes on the top of the can, and seal the wholes with the clay. Lastly, mold the tinfoil into a small bowl, and place it in on the the straws. Pack your bud in that side, and smoke out of the other!

The T.P. Roll Carburetor

Don't complain when you run out of toilet paper. First, solve the problem if it happens mid-shit. There is another article on that somewhere on this site. But for fucks sake, don't throw out the cardboard center of the TP roll. The nice thing about these cardboard rolls was that they already had a hole at each end, so all you had to do was take a pen-point and poke a small hole on top for the joint, instant steamroller! Easy enough for even the most mechanically inept, which, by this point in the evening, was probably an apt description of you and your friends. The steamroller can be used anywhere, but polls have shown that nothing beats a toilet paper spoof while you're actually in the bathroom, taking a crap. Some more experienced spoofers use paper towel roles. This is often referred to a a super sploof.

What you need to make your own:

  • Toilet Paper Tube
  • Ballpoint Pen
  • Joint

Again, another easy one. Use the ballpoint pen to put a joint-sized whole in tube. Place the joint in the hole, and you're done! Instant steamroller. 

The Dixie-Cup Pipe

While named for the iconic brand, this kind of pipe was best not used with actual Dixie Cups, since the wax coating got gloppy. You got a plastic disposable cup, put a mouthpiece out of the bottom, pushed a few pinholes in it, set the hash over the pinholes, held your hand over the top of the cup (which was now on the bottom), and sucked away for all you were worth before the hot hash burned through the cup and landed on your hand. Doesn't sound so wonderful, huh? It wasn’t. Overall, the Dixie-Cup pipe sounded good on paper but not so much when flaming junk from the cup burnt a tiny hole in your mom's living room rug, and you made it worse with paper towel and Glass Plus.

What you need to make your own:

  • Plastic Cup
  • Scissors
  • Safety Pins

Use the safety pin to poke small holes in the bottom, now top, of the cup on one side of the cup. On the other side, cut a mouthpiece with the scissors. DIY hashpipe!

The Bic Pen Hash-Snorter

You poked a safety pin through a chunk of hash and light it. Then you took the cartridge out of a Bic, held your finger over the little hole, and inhaled the smoke, just like through a straw. Best to burn the hash on some tinfoil not the coffee table, again in your moms living room. Any small tubes from extra small tampon applicators to dollar bills could suffice, but its true what the say, “A Bic pen can change your world.” 

What you need to make your own:

  • Glass Tube
  • Safety Pins

Ever heard of hot knives? This contraction is hot knives for hash. Stick the hash with the pin, light the hash, suck through the pipe! The glass tube stops you from burning your lips, magic!

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