Weed Life Hacks for Stoners

From storage to playlists and munchies management, weed life hacks for stoners can only improve your high.

Weed Life Hacks for Stoners

Life should be easy. Especially after you’ve smoked a joint, or six, and just want to chill. But on comes the munchies which requires you to leave the house and make your way to the store. You’re so thirsty cotton mouth is in full swing. Your lips have shriveled into raisins on your face and the bloodshot in your eyes give you away. When you get back after your mini market excursion, you want to smoke again but your stash is near empty. Your bowl is clogged and you can’t find your grinder anywhere! The struggle is real. But fear not fellow stoner, because I present you with weed life hacks that will make all your smoke sessions a lot easier. Whether you need to clean the ash from your pipe, make your joints burn slower or simply find a way to keep your stash fresh longer, you will walk away from this article smarter, a quality you could probably stand to gain, since all stoners are perceived as lazy. Prove them wrong, and become the most knowledgeable stoner on the block with these weed life hacks.

Use a Bobby Pin to Clean Ash

Artwork by Lunares

Artwork by Lunares

If you’re a girl smoking, chances are you have a bobby pin in your purse or bag. If you’re a guy smoking with a girl, chances are she has a bobby pin in her purse or bag. Because bobby pins are so handy, they basically make this weed life hack super useful and reliable. Because they are thin and sturdy, bobby pins are the perfect accessory when it comes to cleaning the ash from a bowl or to unclog a one-hitter or pipe. When it comes to cleaning your pipe, however, you will need to straighten out the bobby pin, unfortunately destroying it. Sorry perfect hair. But don’t worry, they’re generally cheap and come in packages of like 20, so if you destroy the last one, you’ll have 20 new bowl de-cloggers. 

Smoke Before Meals

Image by Dan Cretu 23

Image by Dan Cretu 23

Smoking weed lowers your blood sugar and in turn increases your appetite. A helpful weed life hack for stoners is to plan your smoke sesh around meal times. By doing so, you are ensuring you will have a quality meal, rather than an expensive sandwich that doesn’t quite nutritionally hit the spot. If you smoke before meals, you will skip the trip to your pantry. Also you can avoid coming down from your high and immediately going to the food store because you have just eaten all of yours, your roommate's, and his girlfriend's food. 

Keep Sunglasses on Hand

Image via Mariano Peccinetti

Image via Mariano Peccinetti

Every red eyed weed lover should have a pair of sunglasses handy. Not only are your bloodshot eyes a dead give away, but also, sunglasses can help when running into people like your middle school teacher at the local diner. Whats worse than being super high when she asks what you’re doing with your life and she introduces you to her family who are visiting from Delaware. It can be super awkward! While you know you’re high, you don’t want that old lady in the park or the cop who just pulled up next to you or your mom to necessarily know. So believe me, an essential weed life hack for stoners includes a pair of sunnies.

And Chapstick Too!

And Chapstick Too!

Cottonmouth is no joke, and if it gets bad enough, your lips pucker up like a raisin and it doesn’t end there. You wind up with real chapped lips that bother you for days, crack, and bleeding. Have I scared you enough yet? Keeping chapstick handy is a great way to hydrate your lips immediately after smoking and is a great weed life hack for stoners. Opting for a minty scent and flavor will help soothe your lips and mask any stinky breath that may arise from the cottonmouth. Mint also is just a great flavor. 

Stash it Safely

Stash it Safely

Having some pot handy is an obvious weed life hack for stoners but perhaps the stashing it is better. Stashing it correctly can serve as a backup incase you can’t get your hands on some immediately. By reserving some weed and placing it into the appropriate storage packaging, you can ensure its potency when you stumble back upon your stash when your dealer has gone dry. It may seem silly now to stash weed that you aren’t going to smoke, but believe me when I say stashing it will save you a lot of hassle in the future. You will thank me later. 

Honey is Helpful

Honey is Helpful

We all love honey, on our pancakes, and in our tea and on our waffles, but how about honey on our blunts or joints? Now this may sound crazy, messy, and like extra work, just what you want after what felt like forever rolling this perfect joint. But rubbing honey on the skin of your rolled joint can help it to burn slower, thus allowing you to smoke longer and get more high.

Another optional weed life hack for stoners including the use of honey on a joint, is to cover the joint in honey and then roll it in freshly ground weed. Some people even say to put it into the oven after that for a few minutes or just smoke it with the weed on the outside. However you decide to include honey into your smoke sesh (if at all), I don’t think you will regret it. 

On-the-Go Grinder

On-the-Go Grinder

Carrying a grinder on you, in your car or in your purse may not be the best idea. Beware of carrying paraphernalia. But if you’re on-the-go and are in a bind for a grinder, this weed life hack for stoners will come in handy. Grab a penny and a medicinal pill bottle to serve as your makeshift grinder. They can be tossed into your center console or purse with no suspicion. Be sure to clean your penny first because money is notoriously dirty, but throw a couple nugs and the penny into the pill bottle and shake what your momma gave ya. Open it back up and you have freshly ground pot that is ready for your enjoyment. 

Black Out Curtains for your Bud

Black Out Curtains for your Bud

Just as you need blackout curtains in your room to maintain your peak level of productivity and intensity, pot also needs to be shielded from the light. Weed loses its potency when exposed to too much heat or light while it’s being stored. If you store your marijuana in a jar, then this weed life hack for stoners is made for you. All you have to do is place some black construction paper on the inside of your jar so it covers the walls of the jar and blocks light. Place your weed inside as you normally would and seal it. This helps to keep your weed fresh for a longer period of time and block out light from ruining your best buds!

Pick a Perfect Playlist

Image by Jimmy Stoner

Image by Jimmy Stoner

Some of the best highs are spent just listening to your favorite tunes or discovering new music by yourself or with friends. TV is a great way to pass the time too, but music can speak to you in a way that television can’t. And what better time to be spoken to than when you’re high and ready to receive its message. Personally, I know I have had some of the best times with my friends as we listened to our favorite playlist while passing a joint, each of us having a different reaction to each song, unique to ourselves and our highs. Whether it be the best stoner rap songs, the latest EDM tracks or the ultimate classic rock stoner songs, choosing your playlist beforehand can alleviate the stress of having to choose a playlist while you're high. Instead, have one ready to go so you can press play before you start smoking and allow the music to carry you throughout your high.

Lift the Lighter Up

Lift the Lighter Up

This may seem like a no brainer, but how many of your friends have burnt off their eyebrows or lashes while lighting a blunt of cigarette? Probably more than you care to reveal, because that is a direct reflection on the kinds of friends you’ve chosen. Kidding! But a helpful and possibly overlooked weed life hack for stoners is the way you hold your lighter when lighting a joint. The flame on a lighter will always remain vertical so matter which way you turn it. Rather than tilting your head forward when lighting your joint, tilt your head back and the heat will rise away from your face, therefore reducing the chances of cinged eyelashes and eyebrows. And if you are already smart enough to know this weed life hack, which i’m sure you are, pass the knowledge onto your fellow stoners. They (and their eyebrows) will appreciate it.

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