My First Time...High

Bad Trip or Anxiety Attack?

I used to have a lot of friends who smoked regularly. But I was never tempted to try some, simply because I wanted my first time to be for me. I wanted to want some, and ask to try some, instead of having someone convince me to do it.

That day came when I was a senior in high school. We were going on a field trip for three days and it seemed like a good time to experience it far away from home. The first night of our trip, everyone was either drunk or high. One of my friend's decided to roll a joint and anyone who wanted to try some, could. So I did. I smoked, and smoked, and smoked. But I couldn’t feel a thing. My friends were all claiming they were high yet I couldn’t feel it. I shrugged it off and told myself that maybe I was doing it all wrong.

After that night, I never tried weed again—until two years ago. I was home with my sister and she was telling me all about these brownies she had a couple days ago.

Pot brownies.

She kept saying how those brownies were a great way to get really high. She also knew that I had never felt high before. So she told me she still had a piece left and gave it to me. No explanation. No do’s and don’ts.

Now, you have to know that edibles are quite different that smoking a joint. The effect of the edibles can be felt 30 to 90 minutes after being eaten, while with a joint, the effect is almost immediate. Also, for safety reasons, especially if you’re new to edibles, it is best to start with a low dose, and slow. You can always eat more if you don’t feel high enough. But you can’t eat less if you’re too high—something I didn’t know until after that day.

Anyways, I took a quarter of the piece of brownie and waited. 15 minutes went by. 30 minutes went by. 40 minutes and I still could not feel a thing. So I shoved the brownie all in my mouth and waited. After what seemed like an hour, I started feeling something. It was as if my legs were numb and really heavy at the same time. And I kept laughing for no reason. I was also pretty relaxed too and I was just enjoying the high. But then it all went downhill. I had never felt that helpless in my whole life. My heart started beating really fast. So fast that I was feeling it beat against my chest. So fast that I could hear it. And everything was super slow. I couldn’t keep my eyes open for more than a couple of minutes and my head felt too heavy to be able to keep it up. I was freaking out. I didn’t know what was happening and why I was feeling this way. To me, I was having a heart attack.

At this point, I fell asleep for what seemed like a whole day. But in reality, it had only been a minute. I couldn’t understand anything that was happening around me anymore. It was as if my mind was disconnected from reality. My heart was also beating a lot faster. I panicked and called my sister for help. She made me take a cold shower to sober up but it didn’t do anything for me. I felt like I was going stay like this forever. And no matter what I was doing to calm down, didn’t seem to work. So I ended up crying—a lot. My mind was like a void and I completely lost awareness of my surroundings. It was surreal. It felt like I was in a dream and every ten seconds I was waking up from the dream, my body completely numb. And it kept happening on a loop too. 

I ended up blacking out and waking up in the middle of the night still high but the high had come down a lot. When I woke up again that next morning, I was fine. I swore to myself that I’d never touch weed again. Of course I broke that promise and ended up smoking again, a year later. This time, I waited to do it the right way and to do it with someone else. And that was totally another experience.

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My First Time...High
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