The recent legalizing of marijuana has allowed me to start writing about my experiences in parenting with and without. My sons are 7 and 5, they both have autism and this is been a wild ride!! For this blog I will refer to them as my space monkeys. They are the most rad kids in the world, now as I say that, please know they can also be assholes. Yes my sons have special needs, that doesn't stop their asshole moments.
Since, as my husband refers to it, taking my medicine, I've become calmer. Less afraid and worried about the future. I focus on the now, and how to take care of the business at hand. Never have I been able to do the dishes, while my boys were running around and not be irritated, or having a mini panic attack. Now in the morning after the kids get on the bus or before they wake up on the weekend, I smoke a J. This allows me to recenter and chill, some people have coffee. I have my wake and bake time. Watch a show, light up my J and relax. I vegetate for about an hour, and enjoy as my body fully relaxes and my mind clears. Sometimes, not often, I get the giggles. I toss on a funny show, get my giggles out and go to work or hang out with the monkeys on the weekend. I work from home, no one's life depends on my work.
So yes I can smoke a little and go work. Sometimes I smoke while I am logged in, and it is perfectly OK. All I will say is I am part of an adult chat service. So me smoking a jay before, or even during work, should somehow be considered a mental health moment. The depravity of the world, would astound you.
Back to the point of this shizzz, POT and its mental healing powers. I'm not saying that I was a shit mom, or that marijuana is a super plant that makes me super mom. No, it is a happy medium of everything. I am not wonderful mom, I am not shitty mom, I am just a mom. I do what needs to be done, to get shit done yo. You think Dad jokes are bad, nope, mom jokes.
My world was blown by how it slows down my brain and allows me to concentrate on how to handle everything in the moment. It stops my bipolar brain from taking over. Please remember I am not a medical professional. This is an option I researched and tested to see if it worked better. For me, and I only speak for myself.
When I began smoking it was very little and only at night. But slowly and with some experimentation I have found what routine works for me. Within 10 minutes of smoking a J, I can calm my mind and get shit done. As I begin my day I have a J, about 30 minutes before the kids come home I have another. And before bed, I may have a blunt to myself. That's when I smoke to relax.
This routine works for me. I will not go back to meds that make me fuzzy. This leaves me level headed and capable of going through the day without the mess in my head coming out and ruining the headway I've made.