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About eighty years ago a giant was framed for murder. The timeline isn't exact but what we do know is this was an inside job stemming from the highest levels of government. With no real evidence of wrong doing this beautiful creature's reputation was dragged through the streets and blasted over the airwaves as the mastermind behind all the evil this country has ever faced. They vehemently professed; she's ruining your lives... her friends must be criminals... she's going to eat your babies and destroy your marriage! Eek!! Surely, a giant that big she has no faith, soul, or positive attributes to offer society.
Once the fear and rage settled deep into American psyche little could be done to stop the systematic imprisonment of this gentle giant and thousands of her supportive friends. They watched in horror as she was cut down, burned alive and mentally abused on the daily. Of course, there has been backlash and outrage against these blatant injustices. The most notable resistance led by her best friend Common F. N. Sense. Unfortunately, all cries for mercy have been expertly muffled by rich and powerful men whom coincidentally feed on the suffering of her devoted tribe. As belief in her magical powers faded these snake oil salesmen got stronger! Consistently gobbling up so much power and influence over the years they can now command Common Sense to only softly whisper the giant's many virtues across the land.
But those powerful men and government officials have greatly underestimated her powers of chill! The kind of chill that comes from knowing your mission in life is so altruistic in nature it is nature. The kind of chill only fattest bears understand when the lights go out in winter. Chillin Like a Villain was the final tat she got to complete 2 full sleeves of chill. They could unjustly imprison 100k more of her tribe and still the chill would persist. She's been chilaxn with the human race for like 5000 years... 100 years of suppression is like a back rub to this woke giant!
Still to this day, she remains on Americas most wanted list although she committed no crime and scientifically proven to literally be incapable of killing anyone... but, "No worries," she says.
Her legendary patience is starting to pay off. Some brave states have started the processes of releasing her from bondage. She is a giant, after all, so it will take some time to unlock all the doors, chains, and shackles placed upon her the last half century. "You do your thing, I'm just gonna chill over here for a minute," she chuckles.
The struggle is still real. To achieve ultimate victory over her accusers she will continue to ignore those that speak ill and gently admonish all the atrocities binding her in the mind of men. Her prediction, "You guys crack me up... I got this."