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Anyone who has been a longtime stoner knows a person (or at least, heard stories of a person) who has been arrested or evicted because the wrong person smelled smoke wafting out of their room. In college, hearing about potheads kicked out of school is especially common.
I'm not going to lie; smoking pot in a prohibition-y area can be a life-ruiner if you aren't careful. Discretion is key, and the most important part of avoiding trouble is learning how to disguise the smell of weed indoors.
Whether you're a college co-ed, a renter in a strict apartment, or just someone who lives at home with parents who don't understand, here's how to disguise the smell of your favorite smokeable.
Make a sploof.
A sploof is a device that stoners use to disguise the smell of weed, and it's incredibly easy to make. Admittedly, it's kind of a "ratchet" thing to do—but, it works. To create one, you will need an empty plastic bottle (or toilet paper roll), some dryer sheets, a knife, and a rubber band.
Cut some holes in the bottle, then stuff the bottle with a bunch of dryer sheets. Like, more than you think you should be able to fit in there. Every time you light up your "water pipe", exhale through the sploof. The sploof will disguise the smell of smoke and make it smell like fresh(ish) laundry.
Grab some scented candles.
There is always that chance of having a home that smells like pot, even if you use a sploof. Some people just have noses that are pretty darned good at picking up that cannabis smell.
Thankfully, there's a pretty decent long term fix for the lingering smell of pot: candles. Scented candles are amazing at getting rid of the smell of cannabis, especially if they have a floral scent or have a fresh-baked goods smell.
Get an air purifier.
You know, I could wax poetic on how good a sploof is or why scented candles can work, but let's be real. An air purifier is a must-have if you live in a strict building and are searching desperately for ways to smoke weed without anyone noticing.
A purifier like the one from Levoit will not just disguise the smell of weed in your home; it'll eliminate it. It can also help remove allergens in the air, which can help stoners who get the sniffles during the fall and spring seasons.
Lighting up a joint may be fun, but it's not the most subtle of way of smoking weed you can think of. It's also not necessarily the healthiest way either, if you're worried about tar. Vaping is a healthier option, and the best situations to vape in will make you believe that you can smoke pretty much anywhere at any time.
Since vaping doesn't make smoke, the smell of cannabis will be easier to cover up. The vapor from cannabis vaping is a lot lighter, and therefore will be less detectable. In most cases, vaping near a window will be enough to make it untraceable.
Burn some sage.
Are you a hippie who loves the idea of clearing the air's energy? You might be glad to know that there is a pretty quick way to disguise the smell of weed from nosey landlords which can also clear up bad vibes.
I'm talking, of course, about burning sage. The strong smell of burning sage tends to mix and overpower the smell of cannabis.
If you need a quick fix, grab some cheap body spray.
Once in a while, stoners tend to smoke weed in a place they really shouldn't. They might have smoked up in a locker room, or in an apartment that's owned by someone who hates stoners with a passion.
If you couldn't get to a window in time, grab some of that cheap deodorant body spray and let loose. It'll make your nose burn, but it'll disguise the smell of weed (and literally anything nearby) pretty well.
Burn some nag champa incense.
Hackneyed as it is, incense does a pretty decent job of keeping your house from smelling dank. It's also a lot cheaper than getting sage, and won't make your nostrils hate you the way that spraying a ton of Axe will.
Stocking up on incense is a wise choice as a stoner. While it may be a bit cliche, it really can help your home smell fresh and give your place some mellow vibes.
Turn on the shower.
If you don't mind a little dampness and smoke in your eyes, you can actually use your bathroom to disguise the smell of weed. To do this, you'll need to light up in the bathroom.
Before you start smoking, turn on the bathroom fan and vent system. Then, turn on the shower at a high heat. (No, you don't actually need to take a shower!)
The smoke from your joint will mix with the steam. The steam will get sent up into the vents. If you're particularly nervous about getting caught, add some soap to the shower.
Use essential oils to hide the smell.
The problem with burning incense as a way to disguise the smell of weed is that incense is pretty heavily tied to cannabis use already. So, even if it does cover up the smell, it still gives a pretty overt nod to what you do.
A better option would be to use essential oils in a diffuser to hide the smell. If your pot really reeks, actually boiling a little bit of diluted patchouli oil may be a better option entirely.
Cook something particularly fragrant while you smoke.
True story: My mom has some recipes that will stink up the entire house. This inspired me to come up with a pretty easy way to disguise the smell of weed.
Every time I'd need to light up, I'd just cook one of her recipes. While people have complained about the "foul smell," they never once thought it was cannabis!