All-points bulletin: There’s an unholy assassin roaming the streets of Dream City. Be on the lookout for a green eyed female with red hair. Her name is Hit Girl and she’s allegedly frosted and dangerous.
Hit Girl feels light and fluffy. Her light green leaf is covered with frosty trichomes, there are plenty of red pistils peaking out. These buds are elongated and show off their sativa genetics. The nugs feel hydrated and spongy but light and not particularly dense. Pine and floral notes emanate off the buds and breaking them apart reveals a sweet, earthen-berry aroma.
Under the microscope, the trichomes appear to be in fantastic shape and great condition. They have a mostly milky-white color to their stems with some that are clear or opalescent. There is a predominance of crystal clear heads on the trichomes. The pistils and calyxes are fully saturated.
After the grind, there is a definite pop of skunky-pine. This is how Hit Girl reveals herself…skunky and sweet with a playful punch of pine. The nugs grind up beautifully and the bowl packs easy. These buds are well-hydrated, well-cropped, and well-cured.
She hits smooth with some pepper tingle to the smoke. Pine with just a hint of skunk, citrus, and floral notes on the inhale. However Hit Girl falls a little flat and falters slightly with a sage-like taste on the exhale. There is a lovely, peppery bite to the smoke. It feels gentle on the lungs with only the slightest tingle on the mouth and throat. The flavor rides steady this way for most of the bowl, burning evenly, leaving behind just a hint of white ash behind. There’s some bitterness on the final few hits with some noticeable heat against the throat.
There’s a pleasant relaxation settling into the body now. Elevated but sedated ever so slightly. My body is warm throughout, but the muscles refuse to follow. You don’t feel this one right away. Hit Girl, she sorta sneaks up on you with a nice head warmth, gently cerebral—she’s playful yet wants to be provocative. I truly cannot be certain if it’s my metabolism resisting her or not, but she feels as though she wants to swim into the body. Hit Girl threatens me with concrete shoes and a toss into the river—but then she hesitates, smiles, winks, and nods knowingly. She let’s me off the hook and allows me to elevate and float about the room. I’m left with that stereotypical dopey-stoner look on my face we all love and hate so much.
Hit Girl’s overall experience is one of chillaxing. Stoney and dopey and hazy all at the same time. Relaxed, but elevated in mind and spirit. There’s a quiet playfulness to the high. So what makes her such an unholy assassin? At her core she’s really just a blend of 9 Pound Hammer and Blood Wreck, but look into those lines and you get a deeper understanding.
Let’s forgo the begats, shall we?
Blood Wreck blesses Trainwreck by blending in Trinity. This holy carnage comes crashing into the mighty 9 Pound Hammer, a hybrid of GooBerry and Jesus OG. So Hit Girl might just be a holy messenger after all. GooBerry’s genetics bring together some deep Afghan roots with a touch of haze. Surely Jesus OG remains holy. Except that Jesus OG was begot from Hells Angel OG and Jack the Ripper.
Okay, I couldn’t resist one begat.
So Hit Girl may or may not be an unholy messenger. It all depends on your point of view but one thing is for certain…Hit Girl is as playful a sativa hybrid as any. She threatens you with a heavy disorientation and mental static coupled with a smashing body annihilation, but what you truly get is an elevated chill.
And that feels pretty holy to me.