Getting high is an important part of my self-care routine, but now that I'm out of college, I can't just spend a whole afternoon stoned. I can spend part of an afternoon under the influence, but then I gotta wrap it up! I need these tricks to sober up from a high so that I can continue my self-betterment. I got errands to run, books to read, exercise to do, and I need to prepare for my workday. If there's one thing I learned adulting, it's that the work days never stop coming.
Eat a lemon.
Maybe Radiohead's "Everything in its Right Place" starts with Thom Yorke singing, "Yesterday I woke up sucking a lemon," because he was trying to get some limonene into his system to counteract the effects of THC. Limonene is a terpene, the organic compound that gives plants and even some bugs their smell. Limonene is a powerful calming agent found in all citrus fruits but particularly in lemons, and it might just help you sober up from a high. The hope is that you'll eat enough lemons that you'll stop playing Radiohead albums on repeat! THERE ARE OTHER ROOMMATES IN THIS APARTMENT!
Eat or smell black pepper.
Terpenes strike again! This time it's black peppers that have the terpenes you need to potentially sober up from a high. You can eat 'em up or you can sniff 'em. Just make sure you don't get the black pepper so far up your nose that you sneeze black pepper all over your kitchen and then have to clean it up before your uptight roommate Craig catches you making a mess. Shut up, Craig; not all of us graduated Dartmouth with a Cinema Studies degree. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH YOUR DEGREE, CRAIG?! YOU ARE IN DEBT BECAUSE YOU WATCHED TOO MANY MOVIES!
Consume some CBD.
CBD has anti-anxiety properties without any of the psychoactive effects of THC. So, if you need to sober up quick, you can consume CBD and mellow yourself out.
In fact, in the future, if you don't want to feel stoned but do just want to relax, consume only CBD. There are strains of weed that have a higher concentration of CBD. And if you don't want to chance it, just use a tincture or edible that only has CBD.
Water won't get you to sober up from a high right away, but it'll help you get there by flushing the chemicals out of your system. So, drink lots of water! But make sure you're drinking water and not booze! Booze will only make things worse. I know, I find it hard to believe that booze can make things worse too!
Sleep it off!
Sleep long enough and your body may metabolize all of the THC in your system, which means you'll sober up from a high by the time you wake up. There's nothing about sleep, however, that speeds up the metabolization of THC. Calming down, however, from a sleep as short as a power nap can reduce some of the symptoms of a high that's gone out of control. So, get some shut-eye to shut your third eye, even if it's just for a little bit.
Walk it off!
As Migos said, "Walk it how I talk it." If you want to talk sober, you gotta walk sober. That's because light exercise releases endorphins that help metabolize THC faster, which will help you sober up from a high! Just don't eat any of the wildflowers that you shouldn't eat because they look extra delicious 'cause you're high.
Shower, why dontcha?
Whatever type of shower you take to wake yourself up is the same type of shower you should take to sober up from a high. Me? I like to take a nice, long warm shower where I just luxuriate in the warmth of the water. I like to feel like a candle wick in warm wax, or like I'm in a bathtub full of slow rising bread dough. Being relaxed will counteract any of the symptoms of being too high, like faster heart rate or panic.
Stop focusing on sobering up.
One of the best ways to sober up from a high is to just do whatever you want to do while high and just ride it out. That is, unless you want to do something that you shouldn't do high, like operate heavy machinery or perform surgery. If that's where your life's at, you really gotta re-assess. Meanwhile, for me, I clean my house and do the laundry stoned and then study for my CPA exam once I'm sober. Or I'll just relax with YouTube rabbit holes you can't stop watching. I can spend hours watching Tasty videos!
Caffeine's going to give you some pep and clear your mind, which might be what you're hoping for if you want to sober up from a high. Plus, caffeine is a diuretic, so it'll help you flush out your system too. Flushing your system is considered to be such a big deal when it comes to the best ways to get weed out of your system that a lot of those detox drinks are just basically overpriced energy drinks.
THC reduces blood sugar. So if you want to sober up from a high because you're feeling lightheaded or dizzy, eat something that will level out your blood sugar level. That means candy, fruit juice, or good old-fashioned fruits. Just make sure that whatever you're eating is protein heavy or a fatty food. No candy bars, ice cream, baked goods, or chocolate! That won't help your blood sugar.