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Anti-Crack Weed Head

Gateway Paraphernalia

Feelings are indicators. DUH.

Everybody just calm the fuq down.  This isn't the 1930s propaganda you've grown weary of being associated with the terms gateway and paraphernalia. Woosah. Do some yoga. Get your mind right. Cause it about to go down. Or up in smoke. Depends on how I'm feeling by tale's end. 

Weed was reefer. Blunt were joints. Crack was a drug. There were other drugs but crack was the drug when anyone was talking about drugs. Crack was dope. Crack was that shyt. Crack as cocaine. Crack was heroine. Crack was every other drug that wasn't marijuana. That mentality gave me the freedom to think of weed as more than a soft drug. Almost an un-drug. A fake drug. A barely drug. Weed was social. Weed was fun. Weed went with children's birthday parties and cook outs. Weed was an expected fragrance before work and after PTA. Weed was weed, it just wasn't that deep.

Once I started my journey down weed's path I was newly an adult and finally divorced. I had tried smoking weed when I was in middle school but without a proper mentor I failed miserably and gave up. I figured weed just wasn't for me. At my divorce party I found out the easy way I was mistaken. Weed, mos def, was for me. The Grace and Mercy of God allowed for my very next boyfriend after my ex-husband to be a weed dealer. Sweet! My daily routine was live my life during the day and smoke away my life during the evening. I had found a sub-culture that felt safe, felt reasonable, felt sustainable.

Then I went to college. With White People. My Golden Age of Weed was now in a confused state of the other shoe falling and this is your life Qadriyyah MD. Before college, and more exposure to white people, the only decision I had to make regarding reefer was Dutchmaters or Swishers. I did my training using papers but leveled up due to early mastery. I hadn't learned of Fonto leaves yet and Phillies was never a thought because dear God I'm not from NewFuqqinYork. College brought the fancy shyt. My weed kit used to include — weed, blunts. I was trained to break down weed using my fingers and to split open the blunt using my nail. Enter the grinder. The first weed paraphernalia I was introduced to in college. I allowed it into my life because in college my time had to be managed smartly. Taking more than two minutes to break down weed seemed like a force. I can be a purist or I can smoke before class with time to air out. Easiest decision I ever made. Next came a spliter. I wasn't the biggest fan of spliters but I had room in my weed kit and it didn't take up too much space so fuq it. It didn't care for how the spliters would kind of tear the blunt. I was trained to roll with the intention of the end product looking as close to an unsplit cigar as possible. Those tears were messing up my stats. Nevertheless I kept the spliter in my week kit for quick rolling and others who like to use them. Weed is social. I like being generous. So now we have in the week kit — weed, blunts, grinder, spliter. We're good. What else could we need?

We had a fire drill one day so naturally I am in my car with some classmates and one guy I don't particularly know. Of course he is the one who suggests a one hitter.

At this point in my life I am adamantly against cigarettes. I smoke cloves. I'm not interested. He explains to me that this important addition to any weed smokers life facilitates a quickie high. I went off.

What the fuq is this 1638?!? So instead of just rolling a blunt and putting it out when I'm done and lighting it when I'm ready to come back to it you want me to pack this small ass hole with a teardrop amount of weed and pray to the Saint of Adhesion that it'll stay in as I hold it sideways, discounting the effects of gravity on tiny particle bits, to light it so I can warm my lips on this hot summer day as I inhale all of two puffs before I hand it to the next person and I watch them go through the same shyt I just went through? Shut the fuq up talking to me and get out my car.

Musket aka One Hitter

Needless to say the ceramic cigarette didn't make it into my weed kit. This was the first of many opportunities to reaffirm my desire to smoke weed and not look or feel like I am smoking crack. I have been offered to smoke out of bongs, big and small, as well as pipes to which I simply say,

No thank you. Ima weed head, not a crack head

A good ex-friend of mine used to smoke weed out of an apple, to which I happily replied,

No thank you. Ima natural weed head, not an organic crack head

I grew up in an environment with easy access to crack and its accoutrements. The pretty single red rose encased in glass was often found on the ground sans the glass. The pipe weed smokers use is just a dolled up crack pipe. Weed you light from the top, crack you light from the bottom. Same thing.

Weed Pipe

Socially acceptable under belly

Crack Pipe

Classic under belly

When I am around smokers that use pipes and bongs I get triggered. The sound of the flick of the lighter starts me down this emotional slide. The sound of the inhale directly after the flick has me immediately on a street corner with Pam. The voluntary smile shows up as Pam's involuntary gazed over eyes. It's a bad scene and a bad feeling. When I am around weed smokers who use pipes and bongs I feel the weight of weed being an actual drug. The chemical response our bodies have to it in our system. I am not delusional anymore. I am well aware that I am a drug addict and am in the company of drug addicts. In that piped/bonged moment it doesn't matter to me that the drug is still just marijuana. All that matters is what it sounds like and what it feels like. I think about the times I've blown off events because if I come smelling like weed I'll get some resistance. #Drugaddict I wonder how much money I've spend on this drug. I lament about the time I spend buying, smoking and just being high. High. The same word used by crackheads. They're reaching for the same experience I am, just in a different degree. OH GOD! Don't get me started on using foil to assist in the smoking of the weed. I am beyond triggered at that point. I'm in full blown hysteria. I have packed a bag, kissed my babies and checked into rehab. For weed.

Some people don't have these feelings. Most don't have these thoughts. I do. I honor my feelings and my thoughts by making sure I am happily enjoying my consumption of weed. I go out of my way to buy weed from folx who only sell weed. I surround myself with smokers who enjoy the process of breaking down and rolling up. I take breaks from smoking to make sure its a choice and not a compulsion. I smoke mid-grade and reggie when I can because they are sufficient. To me the weed sub-culture has the tendency to do the most. If I allow myself to indulge that aspect of the sub-culture I am placing myself into the imbalance. When I pray to God before I smoke or before I enter a session I am asking Her for protections and guidance. This is how I am guided to protect myself. Stay balanced. Much success to us all.

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