A Journey with Marijuana

From the Mouth of a Stoner

I never used to smoke marijuana, because when I did, it made me eat everything in the house, and then pass out on the sofa. I couldn't remember anything, not even a recipe that I had made hundreds of times, so I would sit and stare and let my mind wander off to far places, both real and imagined.

I was living in an apartment several years ago, and the old guy across the hall used to sit on the porch morning, afternoon, and evening smoking marijuana.  He would offer me an opportunity to smoke with him, but I always said no, until one day when life had been kicking me around, I said yes.  

The first few times we smoked, I could only take one, maybe two hits off the pipe and I would need to stop.  After the first hit, I would begin to feel unsteady on my feet, and not as able to converse. If I took two hits from the pipe, my mind would begin to wander and I felt as though I had left my body someplace else, and all that mattered was where my mind was taking me, and how I was feeling inside. My emotions would always be heightened, but I wouldn't talk much, or, depending on the type of marijuana we were smoking, I would talk non-stop.  

If I happened to get high in the morning, or any time before one or two in the afternoon, I would feel very odd, and guilty for being high that early in the day. When I first started smoking, I remember being high around nine in the morning, and everything looked so brilliant to me, as if the sun was shinning brighter than usual.  I still had that nagging feeling of guilt, but was starting to be able to cope better.  It almost made me feel like I was somebody else, with another person's thoughts.

Once I started meeting others who smoked, and who had a lot of knowledge about the topic, I stopped feeling guilty, because this stuff wasn't a drug but more medicinal in nature.  I still struggle with that feeling of being a different person when I smoke too early in the morning, but instead of focusing on it, I simply stop thinking about it and go with the direction my mind wants to take me.  After the first time I get high in a day, I don't get that feeling of being someone else, nor do I feel guilty.

I not only get glimpses of people and places when I smoke, I feel the emotion that is taking place in the vision my mind is giving me. That feeling could be good, or not so good, but it definitely comes through and I feel it.  I enjoyed the sounds and feelings of a rainy day for a long time when I would smoke, but then my mind would wander off and I would get away from it, only to return the next time I would smoke. I didn't hear or see rain, I simply had the same feelings I would have on a rainy, stormy day.

I believe the strangest "vision" I have had when smoking is of a young girl,  with her honey-colored hair in curls, blue eyes, and she is wearing a dress that girls wore in the 1950s. She is probably five or six, and it is Christmas, so she is excited and standing in front of the tree, smiling.  I have no idea where that came from, or what it means, but after I see this young girl, I get both an excited feeling, as well as a frightened feeling, and the contrast in feelings makes me curious as to what happened with the girl.

People tend to think smoking is bad, but cigarettes do harm and they are legal.  Based on personal experience, and reading I have done on the topic, evidence shows that marijuana increases activity in different parts of the brain, so it is actually increasing brain power and not robbing you of it, like when you drink alcohol, which destroys brain cells.  A big plus is that I have mellowed out quite a bit since I began smoking again, and I tend to not let things bother me the way they did when I didn't smoke. 

The astigmatism is gone from my eyes, and I didn't bother to offer an explanation as to how that happened at my last eye visit. I no longer need injections in my back for pain in my spine, and I sleep very well at night without drugs.

I still get those mad munchies though, and it is very hard to resist eating because the food tastes so much better!

Denise Willis
Denise Willis

I have a bachelors degree in accounting, and a masters degree in psychology. But, art and writing have always been my love.  I have three grown sons, and recently, I finished a novel of around 200 pages, ready to post to Amazon.

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A Journey with Marijuana