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It doesn’t matter whether it’s legal or not in your region, sometimes you just don’t want everybody around to know that you’re high all the time. And I’m not talking about those paranoid thoughts we all get every once in a while. I’m talking about hiding your stoner-ass face when you really shouldn’t be stoned. Especially if you’re in a professional environment. Not that I would ever recommend being high when you’re at work but hey, if it happens, here are some things you should definitely keep in mind.
This one is a classic, but trust me, it changes the game drastically. The main thing people are going to be looking at is your eyes and those are a massive giveaway. If there’s something that screams out you’ve been smoking weed is glazey, red eyes. You might not be able to get rid of those typical stoner bed-eyes but getting rid of the irritation will certainly help convince people you’re just tired.
Although if you ever forget to bring eye drops with you, you can always try to trick people into thinking your contact lenses got irritated. It’s actually happen to me many times and it is a plausible excuse but don’t overdo it.
In either case, try to avoid eye contact.
Chewing Gum and Eating Oranges
OK, now that you’ve taken care of your eyes, it’s time to take care of your ashtray mouth. While smoky breath is not a dead giveaway that you’ve been smoking weed, it certainly can raise alarms, especially if you’re never seen smoking. Chewing gum is possibly the quickest, most efficient way of getting rid of any trace of any smells coming directly from your mouth.
But one of my favourite snacks to whip out after smoking is definitely oranges! It’s quite perfect if you think about it; the juice from the orange serves as a lil refreshing treat, and the pungent citrus acid completely wipes out any other remaining smell. There’s a reason rubbish trucks smell like oranges! Even just leaving the orange peels in your bag can help camouflage the weed smell if you still have some on you. Which brings me to my next point.
OK, so I would never recommend bringing your stash into work for obvious reasons, BUT if you absolutely must because say, you’re meeting your mates for a lil smoking sesh afterwards, you MUST put it in a glass container. You have to make sure that no matter how close someone gets to your belonging, they won’t be able to smell the weed. Metals containers work just as fine too.
This tip is more geared towards smoking at home. If you got pesky landlords or strict parents, burning incense is the most reliable way to get rid of the smell. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, spray perfume or general air fresheners. This will not only not get rid of the smell; it’ll make it more obvious that you were trying to cover something up. The burning incense will definitely cover up any remaining smoky smell. However, this only works if you’re the type of person who burns incense normally.
Smoking Through a Toilet Roll with a Wet Wipe
I've never tried this trick but legend has it that by wrapping a wet wipe on an empty toilet roll with a rubber band supposedly gets rid of the smell. But I actually think this one is a load of rubbish.
It always pays off to be careful when you're trying to be sneaky. Having said that, coming in high to work is extremely unprofessional and it could get you fired, so I totally don’t recommend it. Besides, you could end up like me and think the weekly fire alarm test was going off ‘cause someone found your stash.